Interview 2 - Michelle ma belle

Michelle is a rather attractive young lady I met in Brisbane when I was waiting tables. I served her coffee but I forgot her water. I did her a massive favour by upsetting the tedious gentleman she was with by flirting with her shamelessly. I received her email address and friendship ever since as reward. It's a hard job but someone has to do it.






Michelle - likes eating wood





I meet Michelle in Australia. The flight is quite long but I watch Muriel's Wedding twice and eat melon. I only have 12 minutes before my return flight so we meet at the airport.

OhDave - Hello Michelle, so wonderful to lovely to see you again. It's an honour to spend 24 hours developing blood clots and 40 minutes in the pawn shop with my mother's jewelry to interview you.

Michelle - You too, really nice of you to come. Did you have a nice flight?

OhDave - It was quite long but I watched Muriel's Wedding twice and ate melon. Here, have some.




My eyes are transfixed by the erotic way Michelle passes the melon over her lips.



OhDave - What's it like to be a very attractive woman?

Michelle - Life is lovely, I'm very fortunate.

OhDave - What are you currently doing with your life?

Michelle - Clipping countless number of bikinis onto hangers and using carefully selected words such as ‘flattering’, ‘slimming’ and anything else ending in ‘ing’ that satisfies my customers’ psychological needs. I also enjoy passing time severely under-using my potential and socialising with starving people.

OhDave - How about ‘Revealing?’ What would you like to be doing?

Michelle – I’m looking forward to getting back into Uni next year where I’ll be studying teaching, Ancient History and English, (and moving back to Brisbane). Hope to end up in the UK eventually, guiding high school kids towards a greater good. I would absolutely love to start life-coaching a bit later on in life.





Michelle - wants to inspire British kids




OhDave - As you may know, I’ve been to Australia before. It seems a bit smaller this time. What do you think are your country’s saving graces apart from Kylie?

Michelle - I nearly almost know all the words to our National Anthem now. Our Anthem is kinda cool.




Michelle - enjoys God Save the Queen



OhDave - Would you like to live in Europe and why?

Michelle - Most definitely. I'm romanced by snow and enchanted by old graveyards, churches, buildings. I know I will be lured there by its history, culture and depth.







Europe - Cultural





OhDave - What is it about British men that makes you moist?

Michelle - British men are at most times clever, smooth and sharp. British humour is fresh and intelligent. However I only know you.

OhDave - What is your obsession with the number 72?

Michelle - For me, seventy-two represents the perfect balance of masculinity and femininity. Sharp angular lines, softened by slight curves. Brilliantly Vogue.






72 - Curvy




OhDave - What music do you like?

Michelle - Ahh...music. My mind is constantly furnished with music.

I ask Michelle if she has heard of Ikea but she continues oblivious

...Favourite bands of mine are often those who express the things I cannot. I listen to songs when its vibe/lyrics align with my mood. Magical, dark, creative, edgy, angry, whatever. I usually prefer the alternative, the unusual. I love the eels, athlete, oasis, muse, the verve, placebo, coldplay, bloc party, epicure, jimmy eat world, more, a lot really.

OhDave - What was the last book you read?

Michelle - Non-Fiction: Mindgym -Octavius Black. Fiction: Valley of Secrets - Charmian Hussey

OhDave - What did you think of the Iraqi information minister?

Michelle - Ha! What a profound, great man: "They are not in Najaf. They are nowhere. They are on the moon. They are snakes in the desert..."

OhDave - I have been greatly impressed by the accurate quotations by my guests

OhDave - You may have noticed me looking at you in a strange way. I have it on good authority from a head doctor that this is because you are hot. Who or what made you look like you?

Michell - My ethnic background: Dad's side, British/Scottish. Mum's: Italian/Scottish. Keep in mind though, that Australians are usually so watered down into a new breed of nothingness. So basically, I'm Australian.





Michelle - Australian people are like Australian beer





OhDave - As you know I just came out of a serious relationship. Why do women suck?

Michelle - No man builds us houses or walks for days to see us anymore, we can get a little bitter.





Bob the builder - quite a catch




OhDave - Are you prepared to apologise on behalf of all women everywhere who ever callously hurt a man assuming that we have no emotions and therefore are completely immune to pain?

Michelle - No

OhDave - Oh...well then...I wasn't expecting that...er...What's your favourite kind of cheese?

Michelle - The verbal-cheese, encouraged by school photographers.

OhDave - In my last post I extolled the virtues of being a wolf: bad breath, a propensity to howl and a desire to chase rabbits. What animal would you like to be?

Michelle - A rabbit.

I sense an opportunity to drive the advantage home so I do my legendary rabbit impression by putting socks on my ears, bearing my front teeth and hopping round the lounge humping things. Security asks to see my passport but Michelle seems impressed.

OhDave - So, would you prefer to make it with me or a bucket of fish heads?

Michelle - To be honest, I'm not entirely sure what 'make it with me' means. But it sounds a lot better than the fish heads. I'd prefer tails. Even in a coin-toss.




OhDave - loves a good Result!





OhDave - Drive through Off-licenses - Discuss!

Michelle - That's two questions in a row I don't really understand...poor me, uneducated little convict.

I whisper in her ear, it's not about the drive-throughs but it feels nice.

Michelle - Oh you mean bottle shops? Well yeah they're cool. You mean to tell me that you don't have drive through bottle shops in the middle of London?

OhDave - No, it would be slightly cost prohibitive to pay the congestion charge just to get a 6 pack. Although I'm glad I don't have to take my passport out with me every time I go out. Your country is weird.

Michelle does something girly with her hair and I suddenly find myself wanting luxiourious smooth locks...note to self: Buy Pantene duty free.

OhDave - Brisbane is definitely more of a café culture than a pub one. I met you in a coffee bar on the very posh Park Road which even sports a miniature Eiffel Tower. What did you order, was it tasty and why didn't you tip me?

Michelle - I ordered an iced-something. And I bought no money with me, as instructed by the guy I came with. If I did have money I would not have tipped you anyhow. You forgot my water.

I didn't

OhDave - Were you as turned on by the smell of hops from the Castlemaine XXXX factory as I was?

Michelle - Yes. I used to live right near that Beer factory, and I lived in a constant state of arousal.

OhDave - What do you know about Slough?

Michelle - Slough- Salt Hill- 1845: John Tawell, upon just returning from Australia, murders his lover, Sarah Hart. Dead. Poisoned with prussic acid. Fled from Slough station to Paddington. Thanks to the recent installment of the electrical telegraph, a message was sent ahead of him to Paddington. He was executed.






Wernham and Hogg - the evolution of the electrical telegraph



OhDave - What do you do when you feel lonely or depressed?

Michelle - Scribble/stab through the pages of my journal. Draw nasty little drawings. Cry bitterly. Get charged $4.95/min to speak to a phone whore (cheaper than some therapists).

OhDave - I adore Brissy. I lived in a gorgeous flat overlooking the gabba. The people were great, the weather too and the standard of living was incredible. And there's something so refreshing about a river city where it's actually used. It would definitely be in my top 3 cities in the world along with Singapore and Dublin. What do you like about Brisbane? Have you been to any other cities?








OhDave's flat in Brisbane - only £40 pw!! (The girlfriend was extra)








Michelle - A wonderful city Brisbane. Young and fresh-faced, it's carefully preened and fairly attractive. Having the river flowing through the city is nice, too. I've been to Tokyo. We drove for about an hour and we were still in the same city. Population-wise, it was insane, what a contrast from back home. A grand place; like living in the future. Although I didn't appreciate the heated toilet-seats...it felt like someone was sitting there reading the paper just before I used it.

OhDave - On a cold winter's morning I always wait til the fat guy's gone...believe me you appreciate warm cheeks over here. Anyway, as a Catholic I tend to look for child bearing hips in a woman. What do you look for in a man?

Michelle - Strength. Particularly in the hands and arms, the back. He should look capable to build a house for me.

OhDave - Would you change anything about yourself?

Michelle - Sure. I would opt for a super fast metabolism, so I could eat even more food and exercise only for fun.

OhDave - Do you crave intimacy?

Michelle - Yes.

OhDave - Do you crave validation?

Michelle - Yes.

OhDave - Do you crave chocolate?

Michelle - Not so much. I'm more of a child when it comes to cravings. I want candy.

OhDave - Finally, you love me right? I mean, you know, I'm not completely repulsive to the opposite sex, like, if you were my ex you'd still miss me right, because I'm charming and hot despite the fact I have to try and validate myself by using a blog to get nice comments from complete random strangers?

Michelle - I love you like a mother. Suckle me

OhDave - Sh*t, that's my boarding call. Thank you Michelle

Michelle - Thank you OhDave

I leave Michelle with a dejected look on her face and a bosom in her hand. If you would like to see more pictures of her breasts click here: Hot Michelle Cleo